The Same but Different...

I pride myself on a great many things, my work ethic, my loyalty to my inner circle, my ability to remember useless information etc but one of things I am most proud of is the friendships I have made and maintained over the years, friendships that have sustained me during dark days and lit up the sky for me during the bright days. My friends offer me a safe space to share my secrets, to speak my truth without judgement, a space to celebrate my wins and space to share my fears.

This weekend I discovered that everything I know and value about friendship I learnt from my father, I think I’ve always known that subconsciously but this weekend brought it to my conscious brain.

You see this weekend my sister got married-thats a post for another day- but at her wedding sharing a table were my fathers 5 oldest and dearest friends. These 5 remarkable gentlemen who have known each other since they were at college, men who still in their own way grieve the loss of their friend, showed up for my sister and showed up for my dad.

My father was a good friend and a loyal friend, the nature of his work meant it was easy to take him in your confidence because you knew you could trust him, being a priest meant he was always availing himself to the community but who availed themselves to him? enter these 5 men. My father trusted these men with his life, with them he could be himself, he could relax and allow his armour to be removed. I know this because I saw it and because when he and I would speak about the value of a friend he would use them as an example.

Growing up we knew every Friday was dads day off and it meant golf or tennis with his friends, usually a rum and coke would follow ;-) , I always said to myself “when i grow up i’m going to have Fridays off with my friends too”- i’m still working on that.

Seeing these men -who are for all intents and purposes my uncles- celebrate with us this past weekend really made my heart soar. How lucky we are to have them in our lives, we don’t see them often or even chat often but I know if I called they would drop everything to be there. I could not be more grateful or more blessed to have them.

I often get told how much I remind people of my father- I hope thats true, I hope that my friends feel about me the way these men felt about their “Dimmy”, I hope I can be to my friends who my father was to these men, I hope in 40 years time my friends and I still get together and laugh about the same nonsense we laughed about in our 20s, I hope when I am no longer they will honour me and remember me the way my fathers friends have honoured and remembered him.

I posed for a picture with them at the wedding and when I saw it it reminded me of a group picture they all took at my dads 60th birthday, the pictures are the same but different.

To these men who I have known my entire life, who are ingrained in the fabric of who we are as a family and who I am as an individual all I can say is THANK YOU.

xxx